getting older, growing up

Lately, I've been seeing a theme of getting older and growing up. . .

• The puppies are over 20 weeks old. They have officially been with us more than half their lives.

• I've been driving. To Bible study. To church youth events. To dance. It's handy, but still gives me a slightly strange feeling.  

• I've begun my junior year of high school. I'm doing pre-calculus, world history and literature, chemistry, and do I really just have two years left of high school?! 

• I finished reading The Lucy Variations by Sara Zarr. It is about a girl who spends the book trying to recognize herself as the protagonist of her story. Interesting to see her growth. 

• I am currently reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. One of it's main characters is a French girl, Paloma, who doesn't see any reason to become an adult. 

I've been thinking about the relationship between getting older and growing up. They go hand in hand, but I don't think they are synonymous. I think getting older occurs because of the physical consequences of time, where as growing up occurs through the mental maturity resulting in wisdom.

If those definitions are valid, I agree with the little French girl. There is no point in becoming an adult if it means simply getting older.

I'll happily get older, however, if I also grow up.


(hoping I don't lose any wisdom when all four of my wisdom teeth are removed this weekend. . . :) 

Dear Nana,

A week ago at 2:00 P.M. your breathing rattled
You lay unconscious as life and death battled

Hospice was present, helping us through
Even as we all tried to help you

Two nurses came to see you on their day off
A friend from down the hall came to hold your hand, still soft

My dad arrived after work, around 6:00, to say his good-bye
On Momma's prompting, he told you that for us he would provide

That was when your rattle left and your tongue grew big
PopPop wheeled up, and from his heart did dig

Words, strength, of our love and presence
By 6:06, in your body you were no longer present

We fell silent, lost for words or song
Gramma asked if you were gone

I passed around tissues to wipe away tears
PopPop whispered "She's not here"

My mind raced to Easter truth and listened
To be reminded of Jesus, our way to be risen

I felt love, so much love, with us all
A love so big it makes death look small

Love in the watery hugs we gave
And love that had overcome the grave

So dear great grandma who was the first to make me giggle
Who taught me to use scissors and played poke, making me wiggle

I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with you
And glad you're now in a place that makes all things new

Love, Megan

Turning Three

Today you, my dear blog, turn three. 

I can hardly believe the way time travels.

It seems as though I was just introducing myself. 

Oh, we've come a long way!  

This form of self expression has grown me. 

I love being able to contemplate the world. 

Thank you to anyone who reads this.

Your listening is truly a gift. 

And, blog, welcome to another year. 

Things haven't quite tied up from the last. 

Somehow I don't imagine they'll tie up for a good deal longer. 

Time traveling and all. 

 But don't get discouraged. 

Happily ever after is a process. 

Continuing my gratitude journal. . . 

891. watching a fireworks display with friends

892. loud and crazy being meaningful

893. sparkler twirling

894. swinging on the patio with my sisters 4th of July night

895. freedom

896. watching Brave (I found it amusing, with amazing animation, but having a somewhat forced plot)

897. strawberry balsamic and Persian lime olive oil drizzled on salad

898. spotting a friend while running errands

899. fun during our second dress rehearsal

900. quiet afterwards

901. Rose of Sharon beginning to bloom

902. watching a friend's baseball game

903. dust billowing from the ground

904. enthusiastic yelling

905. afternoon with my mom

906. seeing Snow White and the Huntsman (It seems we go to movies in spurts. I found the elements of story in this one spectacular and very thought-provoking. It wasn't nearly as much fun as Brave, but I enjoyed it more)

907. straw-like grass (though I really do want to get rain)

908. checkers games with my sisters

909. no need to "go easy on them" (at all)

910. Wii tennis tournament in honor of Wimbledon

911. cute and comfortable t-shirts

912. happy processes

913. three years of blogging

Blessings~ Megan

Of Rivers and Time and Finding Peace

If life is

like a river, 

               crashing, 

                     dashing, and 

                                smashing, 

against the shores of time,

bending because of something greater, 

heading for something greater, 

searching for something greater, 

full of many colors and substances, 

diversity pulled together, 

could this fact that it is in a singular piece 

give someone, 

some peace?

Running Away

Last Tuesday evening we went to a visitation for a distant relative of mine. Trying to organize my thoughts about the time, I wrote this poem on the way home--

lines of people
with glistening eyes
smiling out of long faces
watching a slide show 
seeing a life lived well
and celebrating despite
the end

one lady leaves
her wheelchair-confined sister,
and comes to tell us that
her sister's very hours are numbered,
ticking fast, faster, fastest
but we all hear it
the sound of life
running away
and everyone hopes
that death is another word for
beginning.

I didn't realize it then, but I was really exploring the cycle of life and death while writing this. While I am thankful for both and the way they link together, I am especially grateful for what is here, now. . .

396. flowers on our porch

397. one tree lost through tornado warnings and thunderstorms. Sad, but replaceable.

398. my sisters, a friend of ours, and me staying home alone and watching a movie while our parents went out to dinner

399. nothing broken when a picture fell from our walls while we were watching the movie (it felt very dramatic, as it fell during a chase scene)

400. sisters "consulting" each other as they have new ideas for our Barbie area in the basement

401. "New York Barbie" designing

402. life pushing through

403. a fire pit in our backyard

404. plans for smores tonight

405. the first trip of the season to the swimming pool

406. light bouncing under water

407. green leaves flourishing

408. dancing free

409. explorations through Paris

410. ancestors, history, and something worth celebrating

May you never run too fast to enjoy the moment~ Megan

Sparkle and Shine

I have always loved the gem collections in natural history museums. Fossils are tolerated, and even liked to some extent, but it's always those jewels that capture me.

Going up and down the aisles of a craft store, painting a picture, writing a poem, and looking at gems all capture me.

I lose myself .
I lose track of time.

There is a verse in the Bible about thinking on bright and beautiful things.  I found it in Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Maybe my enjoyment in things that sparkle and shine (both literally and figuratively) has its place in glorifying God too. 
Giving thanks for things that sparkle and shine--

141. Be-jeweled bobby pins

142. Cookie Baking

143. Snow balls

144. Icicles

145. Dresses

146. Book societies, especially with Jane Austen 

147. A lovely event with lovely people

148. Moments when the world feels like one big snow globe

149. Rosy cheeks

150. E-mails with my cousin

151. Revealed nests

152. Middle Sister's first sleep over

153. Middle Sister back home

154. Successful (though dramatic) loss of Youngest Sister's sixth tooth

155. Delightful correspondence between Youngest Sister and the Tooth Fairy

~Megan